Stock Memes Roaring Kitty Moons and Rockets All Exploding

Trading is a hard career, that almost everyone will fail at. Over the years, from experience, I learned a lot of tips and tricks to help me become a winning trader with over 1100 trades under my belt. This experience has led me to Master Meme Trading, like a Jedi.

My success can be described simply as it boils down to how many monitors you trade with. Ideally, the goal is a minimum matrix of 10 by 10 monitors. My personal setup is shown below.

Trading Monitor Setup For Day Trading

Unfortunately, many cannot afford such a setup, so I will provide an alternative; priceless trading tips that have helped me make money over the years. Write them down, tattoo them, and pass them on to your children. Your way to becoming a master meme trader is only eight trading tips away!

Within no time of absorbing these tips, day-in and day-out training in a condensed 10-minute movie-like montage you will be master meme trading stocks such as AMC, GameStop, and Carvana making your portfolio head faster to 0 than it ever has before! Without further adieu, I present: 

Best Tips To Help You Master Meme Stock Trading
  1. Watch CNBC and read popular financial news headlines. When they panic, you know it's time to really panic.
  2. Sing nice songs to your stocks, and make them feel good. When you're pissed don't short them to revenge trade. Bad karma. They remember.
  3. Make sure to follow all the well-followed hindsight traders, their after-the-fact commentary will help you become a better trader.
  4. Read everyone's opinion on the stock market, especially on social media. The most popular opinion tends to be the right one.
  5. Follow every 18-22 years hot-shot trader you find that sells products. Especially listen to the ones who post pictures of beaches and houses they found on the internet and put quotes talking about freedom and mastering stock trading. 
  6. Live, eat, and breathe WallStreetBets, and make sure to follow all the YOLO out-of-the-money option plays. Because if you can sleep at night, you aren't doing it right.
  7. Any time you lose money, make sure to blame some random non-existent hedge fund for the manipulation of your stock. Bonus points if you throw in terms like "naked shoring", or "we've been ladder attacked", and don't forget to throw in "low volume sell-off manipulation".
  8. Since continually blowing your account is part of meme stock trading, you will need to continually find new ways of getting money, the best way is to find brokerages that offer free stock sign-up bonuses.
  9. Trade naked. Be one with the stock market. Feel it inside of you.
Hopefully, you find these tips useful. If you scribble them on yellow sticky notes and plaster them all over your computer screen, you'll be reminded daily and be one step closer to financial freedom. You can thank me later.